just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I hope mine doesn't look like that
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
