Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
