you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
