i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
