Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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