i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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