that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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