you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
