I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
