Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
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Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
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I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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