hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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