Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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