I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
