TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I know her cup size but not her name....
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
