I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
