Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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