My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
