so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
