There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
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