There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
