So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
