absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
should my penis look like a turkey
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
