True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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