Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
