Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Someone came in the potted fern
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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