We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
