We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
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He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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