Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
