my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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