I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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