I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize