wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Farmville is her only friend.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
