Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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