I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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