this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Houston, we have a squirter
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
