For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
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Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
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you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
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