Can Purell be used as lube?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Randomize
