Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The struggles of a small town man whore
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
