It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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