I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Randomize