I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
