wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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