that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
This is classic penis vs brain.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
