but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
