What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
