She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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