If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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