How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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