i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
