Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
they're like a gay fantastic four
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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