They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
