Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
