i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
it's like heaven, but drunker
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
