....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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